Caravan

That's funny... the same day that I decide I'm going to set myself this challenge of gigging in Portland my Mom phoned and said that her and my Dad are going to try and find a static caravan to buy as a holiday home.

The same as me, my Mom thought, well, why not. This is so unlike my Mom. But then – I've never heard her so excited on the phone.

I too feel excited about my plans. This is the third post I've written today – that's how excited I am! It's an excitement I've been craving for a while. I've been lost in my head all day, thinking about this Portland gig actually happening. Thinking about how I could do it; what I need to do to get there; what people I can email so I can meet up with some musicians over there.

Now, when I say musicians, I'm still not sure if I apply in this category. I've played in a few bands now and I know my Delorean mode (no, that's a car isn't it? It's lydian isn't it?) but I still think musicians are the ones who sit very upright and have sheet music in front of them. I should make it clear, I'm under no pretences and I'm not being modest: my music is very amateur. My singing voice is very limited and often strays out of my control on a whim. I've written about eight songs in my life, about two of which I'm truly happy with. I'm not a regular gigging musician and I find the whole gigging experience extremely nerve-wracking. I'm still very much a beginner.

But I suppose I just see these as things I need to overcome if I'm to acheive my dream. It's like an argument with myself. I've always been a stubborn sod and if someone tells me to do something I won't do it on principle. But in this case it's me telling myself I can't do something and me stubbornly refusing to do as I say.